UPDATE 11/28/19:

The Philadelphia marathon has come and gone, but tomorrow I will be running my new *official* Run for Autism at the Middleton Turkey Trot in honor of Evan's first 5k. He's super excited. I am too. I'm also thinking it will be a success if I don't have to piggy back him to the finish line. Stay tuned for our results, and Happy Thanksgiving!!

UPDATE, 10/3/19:

13 months into my nagging hip injury, I'm finally forced off my feet for a 2 month rest and recovery. Sadly, this means that I'll miss Philly. This will be the longest amount of time that I will not run since Evan was 6 weeks old, almost 11 years ago. There WILL be a 2019 OAR run, though it will be in the form of a 5k in December, and if I can't do it, then someone else in the family will (I'll keep you updated!).

Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.

- Special Olympics Athlete Oath

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The Philadelphia Marathon on November 24th will mark my 6th year fundraising for OAR. I set my committment to raise money for autism back in 2013 because at the time I couldn't even get Evan to tell me he was hungry, and I thought using my legs to empower the world of autism was the least I could do. 

 It's been a hard year, and I'm uninspired, tired. I'm not running well, I'm not writing, and it was hard for me to commit to a marathon despite my love of charitable running.

Ironically, Evan is having a great year. And, maybe his success is part of my problem...it seemed that for many years I had to shut part of myself down in order to power through the days (and sometimes the nights), and now that I have witness to a happy child that is slowly emerging from his self-imposed isolation, I haven't quite figured out how to productively channel my free brain space. Don't get me wrong, it's not all roses here, folks (feel free to ask me about the time I suggested Evan go barefoot in the car when his socks were sandy), but Evan's progress this school year has been phenomenal and that has truly impacted the other parts of our life.

Interestingly, Evan is thinking a lot about his future and wants to know things like: do I have to go to college? Can I open a tire shop? How do I price my tires? How do I decide the hours of my shop? Where will I live? Do you think I will be able to learn how to live on my own? It's this last question that pulls on my heartstrings. He wants to get married and live in Maine, he wants me to take my car to his tire shop when I visit, he wants to know how he'll take care of himself if he's living alone and gets sick. Oh, my heart....

We've made a lot of progress this year toward increased independence: he brushes his own teeth, changes his own clothes, showers on his own and sometimes manages to even turn on the water by himself, and will brush his hair if prompted. These tasks can take f.o.r.e.v.e.r., especially at bedtime, but we rarely help because we know these independent steps are so, so important.

It's this light through the trees that reminds me why it's so critical to remain vigilant in my autism advocay. Because being autistic can be challening and the success we see is due to hardwork: Evans, ours (the family), and the support staff around him. Research and the understanding of autism's complex layers has literally allowed Evan to access the world. 

So, yes, I'll run again. For Evan to get everything he wants out of life? Ya, I'll run...

#researchautism